13 Reasons Why — Should Your Teen Read or Watch It?
A Resource Guide for Parents and Educators
By Carla J. Sofka, Ph.D. and Gwyn Sofka
Carla J. Sofka, Ph.D. is a social work professor, death educator and past president of the Association for Death Education and Counseling. She specializes in the study of death and grief as they are shared through technology and social media. She also researches public responses to tragedy. Dr. Sofka’s writing and research has been presented and published internationally.
Gwyn Sofka is a junior at Cornell University majoring in environmental science and sustainability and is currently studying abroad at the University of Iceland. She assists her mother as a proofreader and editor and explores thanatology-related sites on family trips.
I vividly remember the summer day when I asked my then-11-year-old daughter to tell me about the library book she was reading. Since she was wise beyond her years, I was not in the habit of screening the books she checked out from the library. My thoughts about the need to do this changed drastically that day. She was reading Jay Asher’s “Thirteen Reasons Why.”
I was caught completely off guard when she described the premise of the book. Why would someone so young be reading a book about a high school student who took her own life? My daughter saw the book in the YA section and thought it looked interesting. Since it was too late for me to read it first, I invited her to talk to me while she was reading it and requested to read it as soon as she was finished. I was shocked to discover that in addition to the death by suicide of a young woman named Hannah Baker, the plot involved issues such as slut shaming and sexual assault/rape, experiences that I hoped my daughter would never have to face.
If you have a teenager, you’ve probably already heard about “Thirteen Reasons Why.” Perhaps you have already made the challenging decision to allow or not allow your child to read the book or watch the Netflix series (or your child decided without you).
If you anticipate that your son or daughter is planning to read the book and/or watch the series, the following information will provide background on the publication of the book and the creation of the series, and can help you make an informed decision about whether it is appropriate for your child based on age and the presence or absence of risk factors such as a history of bullying, sexual assault, or mental health challenges. It can also prepare you to have conversations with your child and to provide support through what may be an intense reading or viewing experience.
The Book: Where It All Started
Three editions of “Thirteen Reason Why” were published prior to the release of the Netflix series. The original was released in October 2007 and quietly became a best seller in 2009. A paperback edition was released in June 2011 and hit #1 on the New York Times best-seller list that July. A 10th anniversary edition (that contains an interview with author Jay Asher as well as an alternate ending where Hannah Baker lives) was released in December 2016. A Netflix tie-in paperback was published on March 7 of 2017; on April 23, the book went back on the New York Times best-seller list and remained there for six weeks. A mass market paperback was released on June 27, 2017.
The following synopsis is published inside the dust jacket of the 10th anniversary edition:
Clay Jensen returns home from school to find a strange package with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker — his classmate and crush — who committed suicide two weeks earlier. Hannah’s voice tells him that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he’ll find out why.
Clay spends the night crisscrossing his town with Hannah as his guide. He becomes a firsthand witness to Hannah’s pain, and as he follows her recorded words throughout town, what he discovers changes his life forever.
The book became the American Library Association’s third most challenged book of 2012. Asher knew that he “was writing a book about issues that make most people uncomfortable” and noted that “the times I’ve heard about challenges, there have been people in those communities defending my book” (as quoted in Grinberg, 2013). Asher stated: “The very day I found out ‘Thirteen Reasons Why’ was the third most challenged book, I received an e-mail from a reader claiming my book kept her from committing suicide. I dare any censor to tell that girl it was inappropriate for her to read my book.”
The following reviews and “reader reactions” provide a diverse range of opinions to help you gain an appreciation for the controversy about the book:
· Reader reactions from the book’s official website;
· Reviews by parents and kids on Common Sense Media’s website.
Should I Let My Son or Daughter Read the Book?
Reading the following discussion guides before starting the book may help you to reflect on the content more actively. The questions can guide conversations about the book should you decide to discuss it with your child.
· The book’s official website posts a list of discussion questions that may assist you in thinking about the content and facilitating a conversation with your teen about the book;
· WeAreTeachers, an online community for educators, compiled discussion questions that could also be used by parents and includes links to resources for strategies to cope with stress;
· The Mom of the Year website posted Book Club Discussion questions;
· The literature section of SHMOOP, a digital publishing company whose website contains materials for academically-minded teens, includes discussion questions;
· LitLovers posted discussion questions.
The Netflix Series: The Controversy Continues
When I learned about the 13-episode Netflix series “13 Reasons Why” (with the “Thirteen” in the title changed to a digit) that was released on March 31, 2017, I asked my daughter — then almost 20 — if she planned to watch it. The answer was yes, time permitting while she finished her sophomore year in college. (According to BingeClock.com, it takes 11 hours and 55 minutes to watch all episodes in the series or only 11 hours and 42 minutes if you skip the opening/closing credits.)
After I watched the final episode, I discovered “Beyond 13 Reasons”, a 29-minute segment during which the “cast, producers, and mental health professionals discuss scenes dealing with difficult issues, including bullying, depression, and sexual assault.” I regret that I didn’t know about this segment before I started watching the series; parents (and their teens) may want to watch “Beyond 13 Reasons” before making a decision about viewing the series.
Differences Between the Book and the Netflix Series
It is important to mention that there are not only differences in the content between the book and the series, but also in one’s experience as a reader as opposed to a viewer.
First, there are significant differences in the storyline, including but not limited to the extent to which social media is involved in the bullying (remember that the book was first published 10 years ago), the involvement (or absence) of parents, and the method Hannah used to end her life. (For very specific spoilers, simply Google “13 Reasons Why differences between book and show/series.”)
Second, a reader must rely on imagination to envision the experiences of the characters as opposed to the vivid reality of witnessing public humiliation and bullying, sexual assault/rape, and the explicit depiction of Hannah’s death by suicide. The book only provides information from Clay’s and Hannah’s perspective; all characters have an active voice in the series.
Information and Warnings from Professional Organizations, Netflix, and Resources to Assist with Decision-making about Viewing
In addition to countless news broadcasts and articles that identify the pros and cons of watching the series, respected professional organizations have produced webinars, statements and fact sheets that highlight the following conclusions:
1) Discussing the series provides opportunities for age-appropriate conversations and raising awareness about life experiences that teens are facing: bullying, sexual assault, underage driving, drunk driving, slut shaming, coming out, and the mental health challenges that accompany them, including suicidal ideation. However, while the series accurately conveys that there is no single cause of suicide, it doesn’t emphasize that suicide is most commonly a result of a treatable mental illness combined with overwhelming or intolerable stressors. It is important to reinforce the message that suicide is not a solution to problems. Concerns have been expressed that the series glamorizes suicide and that the school does not follow the best practices in the aftermath of a suicide.
2) It is not recommended that vulnerable youth (especially those experiencing any degree of suicidal ideation) watch the series. Although scientific evidence about suicide contagion is not definitive, exposure to another person’s suicide or to graphic or sensationalized accounts of death can be one of the many risk factors that youth struggling with mental health conditions cite as a reason they contemplate or attempt suicide. (There are cases claiming a connection between reading the book or watching the series and teenagers dying by suicide.)
3) Adult characters in the show (including a school counselor who does not adequately address Hannah’s plea for help) do not inspire a sense of trust. Be prepared with information about supportive resources that can assist should your child or one of their friends need help. (See the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website for referral resources and hotline numbers; suicide prevention apps are also available.)
4) Conversations about the series can provide an opportunity for reflection regarding the potential impact of one’s words and actions on others.
Due to significant concerns about the content in the series, on April 27, 2017, the New Zealand Office of Film and Literature created a new censorship category RP18 to address concerns over the series, issuing an immediate restriction on the show to those aged under 18, unless accompanied by an adult. In early May, due to ongoing criticisms of the show’s graphic content and concerns expressed by the previously noted professional organizations, Netflix inserted stronger trigger warnings. Prior to the first episode of Season 1, the following warning is now being shown:
This fictional series covers several difficult issues, including depression and suicide.
If you or anyone you know need help finding support and crisis resources in your area, go to 13reasonswhy.info for more information.
While the link to http://www.13reasonswhy.info/#usa is included in each of the warnings posted before 4 specific episodes, the content-specific warning changes in episodes 9, 12, and 13. (Episodes 2–8, 10, and 11 are not preceded by a warning.)
Warning prior to Episodes 9 and 12:
The following episode contains scenes that some viewers may find disturbing and/or may not be suitable for younger audiences, including graphic depictions of rape and sexual assault. Viewer discretion is advised.
Warning prior to Episode 13:
The following episode contains scenes that some viewers may find disturbing and/or may not be suitable for younger audiences, including graphic depictions of violence and suicide. Viewer discretion is advised.
Should My Child Watch the Netflix Series?
The following resources are available to help you make an informed choice about whether or not it is wise for your child to watch this series and to facilitate conversations about the content:
· Webinar (1:10:57) produced by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, the American School Counselor Association, and the National Association of School Psychologists: A Teachable Moment: Using 13 Reasons Why to Initiate a Helpful Conversation about Suicide Prevention and Mental Health (Useful resource for educators, mental health professionals, and parents.)
· American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Tips for Parents for Talking with their Children about 13 Reasons Why and Suicide;
· National Association of School Psychologists “13 Reasons Why Netflix Series” (Includes guidance for educators and families);
· American School Counselor Association “13 Reasons Why” Netflix Series: How School Counselors Can Help (Includes what parents and students need to know about issues from “13 Reasons Why”);
· Talking points from Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE) and the Jed Foundation.
Suggestions to Promote Conversations, Referrals to Supportive Resources, and Community Partnerships:
In addition to the fact/tip sheets and book discussion resources previously noted, my daughter and I thought the following questions might be well-received by a teenager who is either reading the book and/or watching the series:
1) Can you relate to any of the characters and their experiences? Who? In what way(s)?
(Have similar things happened to you or someone that you know?)
2) What do you think contributed most to Hannah’s decision to end her life? What might Hannah have done differently to cope with the stresses and challenges that she was experiencing?
3) Are you aware of the “risk factors” and “warning signs” that might indicate that someone is suicidal? (If the answer is “no,” be prepared to educate your child or provide them with this link to information from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.)
4) If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal, do you know what to do? Who would you reach out to for help? (Provide your child with links to resources for assistance.)
5) If you could rewrite the story and/or the ending, what would you change and why?
6) As a result of reading this book/watching this series, do you think that you will change the way you treat others and/or respond to what you see happening around you at school or in your community?
The following ideas/resources may be helpful if you read the book and/or watch the series and want to become more involved by:
1) Educating others about resources for support: Work with your public library to place inserts or information sheets in copies of the book or easily accessible locations in the teen section of the library; put resources on the library’s website about community-based mental health or online resources and suicide prevention hotlines;
2) Create opportunities for conversations:
- Work with community mental health professionals, school-based helping professionals, your PTA/PTO, and the public library and host a “Community Read”; (Check out this link to see what happened in Portland, Maine; 75 libraries across the country are hosting special book clubs during the summer of 2017 based on the theme “Structure of Suffering: Origins of Teen Violence and Suicide”);
- Work with your faith-community: Youth ministers affiliated with Conversations on the Fringe, an organization seeking creative ways to bridge the gap between marginalized youth and entities that serve youth in contemporary society, produced a detailed discussion guide for each episode of the series.
Teenagers agree that the life challenges depicted in “13 Reasons Why” are real. Regardless of whether or not your child reads the book or watches the series, may you be prepared to walk beside your teenager with courage and patience, ready to listen without judgment, armed with information to guide them.
